Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Birth Story!

First family photo

On Friday January 21st in the evening I started having contractions 8 minutes apart. I thankfully got them to stop, but the following morning I noticed some blood and was worried because I wasn’t scheduled to get my cerclage removed until February 1st because I would be past 36 weeks and considered full term. Saturday the 22nd I didn’t have any more contractions but decided to go into L&D to make sure I wasn’t dilating with the cerclage in and permanently damage my cervix. I was having contractions when they monitored me but I didn’t feel any of them and there wasn’t any pattern or consistency to them. The perinatologist felt comfortable to remove the cerclage even though I was 35 weeks and then said I would be on strict bed rest for the next 2 weeks. I was so nervous to get it removed because I thought it would be very painful, but at the same time I was so excited to be one step closer to bringing a baby home. Getting the cerclage out was extremely uncomfortable. Luckily I didn’t have any growth or scar tissue over it. The perinatologist had such a hard time getting back to my cervix because it was just under the baby’s head (which I wonder might be why I had a high tear later). After the third time trying to get back to the cervix she finally got the stitches out. I was quite uncomfortable as she was trying to unscrew the speculum but it was stuck. It hurting so bad by then and I was done mentally and emotionally. She tried changing gloves, didn’t work. The nurse tried, wouldn’t budge. Finally Chris went to the end of the table and was able to loosen it. I have the best husband in the world :)

After I was discharged I made a permanent camp out on the couch. (Video above is the only thing I have documented between my baby shower and the birth) I stayed there all Sunday and Monday. I was still having discharge and just told myself that I was just gradually losing my mucus plug and it was because of all the stuff that went down with getting the cerclage out. Monday I noticed the discharge was becoming more watery and I thought nothing of it until that evening when I went to the bathroom and it felt like I peed myself. It was enough to raise suspicions but not enough to make me think my water broke. All evening Chris and I went back and forth on wether to go to the hospital or not. Looking back I wish I had slept in my own bed that night but decided to play it safe. It took forever to check in and the hospital’s birthing center was busy that night. They tested to see if it was my water that was broken and YEP! It was.

It's GO time!

Then the countdown started. They wanted to start me on pitocin right away and I asked if they could wait and let me walk the halls for a couple hours to get labour started on my own. It did start it just wasn’t fast enough for them and they were scared of infection due to my PROM (Pre Rupture Of Membranes). Every time they monitored me and my baby’s heart beats they were perfectly fine. Then the midwife came in and said we had to do pitocin. I told her that I didn’t want an epidural and that I still wanted to move and walk around through labour. We came to an agreement that they can monitor me every hour and they would start the pitocin drip at a 2 then build on that like every hour. Then I agreed. I was upset the midwife lied to me to get me on those drugs because when you are on pitocin they have to continually monitor me.
Pitocin :(

So over the next 10 hours I gradually built up the pitocin drip to a 20 and I had to deal with fussy nurses and a busy midwife. I would do squats or walk around or find some way to relieve some of the discomfort and they would rush in and put me back in bed to monitor me. So annoying. I was also on antibiotics but decided to drink a bunch of water because it made me have to pee every 30 minutes so I would go to the bathroom pee for a minute and then do whatever I wanted until the nurse came back in. Later I found out that night there were like 15 births and half of them ended up being a C-section. Whenever my doula would walk out to get a nurse to check on me they were always like  “OK we’ll check her but if she hasn’t progressed we’re doing a C section” very scary and annoying. I was in transition for about 2 hours and I wanted to cave and get an epidural. I use to go to the bathroom call for Chris and cry to him and try to get him to agree with me that I need an epidural. He let me cry then he would get me through that contraction.  Finally I had that urge to push and the nurse didn’t believe me but I finally got the midwife to check me. She was in shock and disbelief when she felt my baby girl’s head. Then all the lights flip on and a bunch of nurses rush in. It was like a mad house. I had focused so much on the labour and contractions that when it came time to push I forgot everything. Luckily I only had to push for a couple minutes and all I remember is screaming. My throat hurt the following day but screaming while pushing seamed to be the only thing that helped. I remember everyone yelling at me to push. SO ANNOYING. Next time I do this I will slap anyone who yells PUSH at me. The midwife asked me if I wanted to feel my babies head. I really didn’t want to I just wanted to keep pushing until she was out and in my arms. I kind of snipped at her and said no and kept pushing! First was the head and next was the shoulders. Finally she was out I felt great and opened my eyes and  . . . she was already cut and across the room. I was so upset and disappointed. I know I couldn’t have a lot of the natural things I wanted on my birth plan but really the most important thing to me was being able to hold her right away. I had built up that fantasy in my head for so many years that when that was taken away from me I was furious. The the midwife kept tugging on my cord to get my placenta. Thats when I got really rude with her and told her to stop touching me and I wouldn’t deliver my placenta until I was holding my baby. It seemed like forever but I had Chris go over with the camera and take pictures. We only got one little video but I love it so much. She has this cute little wail. It’s funny how they get older it gets more annoying.

We did it!
It was an amazing birth with a lot of doubt from the medical professionals but a lot of love and support from my birth team. I decided to just have my husband and doula there. I have a very large family and I was having a hard time trying to decide who I wanted to be there and I know some feeling may have gotten hurt but I ultimately decided that I just wanted it to be my husband there. We hired the doula because we trusted her and knew she supported our more holistic approach to birth. We also did it because I wanted someone to be there to help my husband. Husbands don’t have all the physical pain but they do do a lot during labour and get exhausted as well (At leats when it’s a husband coached childbirth like in the Bradley Method). Another reason why I decided this, is an emotional reason. My birth story with the twins was obviously devastating. I wanted this birth to be everything opposite from that. I had all the parents and siblings at the hospital waiting hours for me to deliver the twins. I felt so guilty having them all there just waiting for me to deliver the twins so we could all see them and say goodbye. They sat in uncomfortable chairs and on the hallway floor for hours and hours. They would try to come in and visit me and try to be helpful, but it’s such a heartbreaking event that as you watch it happen and you are part of it; there’s nothing you can really do or say to comfort the ones you love other than to just be there for them. I know I had many family members and friends that wanted to be there on this more joyous occasion for this birth but I felt like this was an emotional thing I had to endure myself and be able to be proud of it and enjoy it myself (at least for the first hour or two) I want our little family to be in this happy bubble and thats how I wanted to remember it. I did get what I wanted and then immediately called the family right after midnight when she was born. Many were surprised and didn’t even know I was in labour for the past 36-48 hours or even in the hospital.

Photo I posted on facebook

So that’s my birth story with all its gory details and raw emotions. I love my little girl so much and so glad she’s finally here. I would definitely do things differently next time but wouldn’t trade her for anything. Things I would do next time . . .

I would of slept in my own bed and waited for morning or until active labour started. Having those extra couple hours of sleep were much needed in this labour.

I probably wont get a cerclage put in with this next pregnancy. I had u/s every 2 weeks and there was no change in my cervical length. I think that it was just with the twins. I do know the signs of labour now and other things to look for that if I was ever worried I would go get checked out. I’m glad I did it with this pregnancy because of anxiety issues but I don’t know if it was 100% needed. So if I do need it I don’t know if I could be on bed rest from 12 weeks and beyond, especially if I have to take care of another child.

If I ever do get the blessing to fall pregnant again I want to have a water birth. It’s always been my dream and I would go to a birthing center or have a baby at home. I know it’s not for everyone and most of you think I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I might have more family members there next time as well just depends on the space and timing.

Beautiful baby girl, 5lbs 10.5oz and 18 inches long!


  1. A beautiful story! I'm so happy you got to have some of the things you wanted with this birth. What a hard experience to go through without support of your midwife! Although everything about my birth sucked, I did at least have a wonderful ob committed to letting me deliver vaginally. She let me labor for 30 hrs even with horrible pre-eclampsia and then delivered baby B breech.

    The cerclage is a miserable experience. I don't blame you for not planning to get one next time, wouldn't it be nice to be a non-high risk pregnancy!? Your baby girl is beautiful and you did a great job getting her here.

  2. I was confused why they were pushing a c-section? I thought they only did those if it was an emergency? I loved reading your story. So interesting! I'm glad you were happy with it overall.

    Oh and they took Sydney away for a minute first to clean her but with savannah I got to hold her right away and I LOVED that! It is definitely how I want to do the next baby. Savannah nursed easier and didn't cry as much. Babies need to be with their mamas right away!

  3. Wonderful birth story. I'm glad you shared it with us. Amazing things (little people) come from some miserable places (hospital/tragedy) :). So glad for you and your family's miracle.

  4. Thanks for sharing your story! I loved it! I'm sorry somethings didn't go the way you planned and wanted it but the ending was happy and your baby girl is soooo beautiful!!!
    As far as what people think, pshhh. It's your blog, your life, your family, your emotions. If they don't like it then they don't have to read it! hehe I think it's awesome you did it the way you wanted without worrying about stepping on other people's toes. I hope when the time comes I can be that strong!

  5. They pushed a C section because it was so busy that night. I wasn't going fast enough for them and had already hit my 24 hour mark. I also heard they were sending women to other hospitals because they didn't have the space. I had to spend that night in the L&D room because there were any rooms for me in recovery. Most hospital beds are not comfortable, but L&D ones are the worst!

    Thanks for all the comments, sorry it took me so long to get it finished. I even cried as I finished writing this. I didn't even cry at her birth!

  6. Love your story. And yes, it does suck that when the hospital/docs/etc get busy, they want everything done their way, but I'm glad you stuck to your guns.

    And I have to say, I'm feeling the same way about my cerclage. I haven't been on bed rest and I can tell you my measurements haven't changed at all since I got it in. I'm hoping to opt out of it again myself and just get a little extra monitoring.